First, I imagine what it would be like to buy any house in any area I want. A house on a lake would be what I really want. Not big, but you know, big enough. I want everyone to have a space they call their very own. I want my OWN studio. A place that is all mine for whatever I am currently into. I want my land to be enough that we can expand (build an additional house someday or ???). The interior (or things) wouldn't be much different than they are now. I don't think I would suddenly change to expensive taste. I guess what is telling here is that I really don't want anything that I can't attain without winning the lottery. Maybe that's why I don't play.
OK, but if I did and I did win. One thing I would do that I really couldn't do unless I won: I would pay off everyone's ( my peeps) mortgage. I want this for everyone around me: A place all theirs that they don't have to report to "The Man" to have.
I'm not sure what else I would so. I think I would travel, not sure if I would quit work, but I would probably make a different choice about what I do and how much I do it. I'm not sure why I even feel compelled to write this except that I think it says something about me that the most important thing to me is home. When I am most happy is when I am nesting.
The Alaskan and I have been working very steadily around the house lately. Just about every day we do something that improves the house or our surroundings. And I LOVE it. Of all the things that happen in a day, it is this that makes me feel like I have accomplished something. And it is very indicative of everything around me. I like to have a steady stream of work that has purpose and direction. If things are hard, we have too many projects going in too many directions, I wonder if we will ever get it all done. Everything feels overwhelming, including the little things. I am liable to pull my hair out and be miserable. And we all know, when I am unhappy, it spreads like the worst plague ever!
And then I breathe. Learning that this house and all it entails is a process and it is never all done, has flowed into other aspects of my life as well. Don't sweat the small stuff, right? You know like the weeds that are growing on the side of the house? Yeah, I'll get to them. And I know when I do that, in time they will grow back and I will have to pull them again. Yes, kind of like real life. Sometimes it can be frustrating to feel like there is just so much to do or to keep doing the same things over and over again. I just breathe. Put one foot in front of the other. and know it won't always feel like this.
I find it helps to have goals and direction. Helps to keep the focus. My goals, my direction, whether I win the lottery or not, I hope someday to sip my coffee from a place that is mine all mine with a view like this:
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