A Beautiful Disaster

Do you ever wonder why you keep banging your head against the same wall, over and over again?

Why when we are doing something we know is just plain stupid, we just can't bring ourselves to stop? Why? After all, the outcome stays the same right? Bang, ow, bang, ow. Is it the possibility that maybe, just maybe, it will somehow be different? That the outcome will magically change and that it will all work out in the end?

Or are we just a glutton for punishment? Is enough ever really enough?

For some people I think the level of tolerance for this is not high. They will stop the banging because it hurts too much. Hit it once and lesson learned. But for some of us, it isn't the pain of continuing that causes us to change....

maybe it's because it just feels so good when we stop.....

Boundries

The truth is life is messy and complicated. Sometimes we cross the line. We make mistakes. We step on each other's toes. We let people in and sometimes we hurt and we get hurt. And we think, if only we had better boundaries.

The thing about boundaries is we create them in an effort to protect ourselves, but mostly, they just serve to isolate us. We hold ourselves apart, at a distance, never being completely open and honest with those around us, because it is a risk. But if we never let anyone in, as safe as that feels, we never have the benefit of someone knowing us. We never benefit from trusting someone with our secrets. We don't allow ourselves the opportunity to be understood. Yes, intimacy is difficult. Because when we do let others in, inevitably, they let us down, they misunderstand and even on occasion they disappoint us. But to never let anyone in, well, then we would be missing out on one of the true gifts in life: relationships. Deep, meaningful relationships.

Boundaries, some at least, can serve a purpose. After all, we should not let everyone in all the time, that would just be plain foolish. But carefully crafted they must be for we would not want to build fences that keep everyone out. There are no absolutes. Life cannot be clean and tidy all the time. And the minute you start believing you are immune from the mess, that is when you will be given just the lesson to learn: Life is messy.

After Awhile

Beautifully written and expressed by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul

You learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises

You begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child

You learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth

And you learn

You learn
with every goodbye, you learn...