A Woman's Heart

I have thought a lot about this quote lately:

"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets." Rose, Titanic

If you could know everything in my heart, would you really want to? We are complicated creatures who feel many things. Our hearts love and nurture with such a capacity that it seems unfathomable to imagine. And it is unimaginable, the size, the depth and breath, of our hearts and all that is contained there.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so I show a lot of myself to others. But there is more. In my heart far below the surface there is love and joys and pain and disappointments that I don't show. When you look at me, sometimes there are smiles and sometimes there are tears. But this is just a small piece of what truly exists deep within me. It is here that I keep my hidden fears of rejection and failure. But it is also here that I keep my secret pride and confidence in who I am. All that I have been, All that I have become, All that I am , all that I hope to be. A wealth of experiences that define me are stored here. Most people only brush the surface of who I am, few make it deeper. But no one could possibly know everything that I keep.

The quote goes on to say:
"...he saved me, in every way that a person can be saved.... He exists now only in my memory."

Many people have help shape this heart of mine over time. I believe people come in and leave our lives for many reasons. Sometimes it is as simple as needing something at that particular time in our lives. Rose needed to leave her life, and Jack helped her discover this and gave her the courage to do so. And then he was gone. He continues to live still in her heart, but she goes on to lead a life full of love without him. For some people I believe this happens many times in a lifetime.

In my heart, there are many things, including you. So please don't ask me what is in my heart. If you do not want the answer. I am not some naive young girl who has not known love or a broken heart, but a woman who has known this in many ways. Trust that it is enough that you are in my heart, and don't concern yourself too much with what else is kept there. Over time I will show you pieces and parts of me. I will share with you, some of these things. It is who I am and all that I have become, and all that you hopefully love.

So it is with a woman's heart.